Look, I'm just your average working Joe, y'know? Sure, sure, I've got the Grand Moff title these days - in fact, ever since Emperor Palpatine took over, a lot of Imperial military careers have been on the uptick - but at the end of the day, I take orders just like anybody else. In my case, I take them from this creepy old guy in a robe who looks ugly and harmless but can shoot blue lightning from his hands at you if you make him mad.
So let me tell you about how the Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable totally saved my bacon. I was commanding a moon-sized space station called the Death Star, and while we let people believe that it wasn't quite ready, the boss man was insisting that I get it fully operational in time for some "ceremony". There was NO way that I could have gotten this thing's secret weapon - a really, really cool green superlaser that can totally blow up planets - to work without the Denon cable. We just didn't have any technology that could send the pure digital power required to make a bunch of smaller laser beams converge in a cone shape into one giant beam. Luckily, Amazon delivered ours just in the nick of time.
Just minutes after installing the cable, my boss' enforcer, a seven-foot, mouth-breathing, half-man-half machine named Darth Vader, shows up at my office with two stormtroopers and a rebel princess with a weird haircut and some strategically placed electrical tape on under her robe. I'd recently signed an order terminating her life. This lady immediately starts in on me - telling me I'm holding Vader's leash, that I've got a foul stench - all kinds of stuff. As luck would have it, the station was orbiting Princess Mouthy's home planet of Alderaan, and after some back-and-forth about the location of rebel bases (she eventually named Dantooine, wherever that is), I made the call to blow up Alderaan anyway, just to be a jerk. A few pulled levers and some laser magic later, and poof! No more home planet for Princess Talks Too Much.
I tried to order another one to use on an unshielded thermal exhaust port in the Death Star. It suffers from the adverse effects from vibration as well as jitter and ripple. The combination of fluoropolymer material and superior heat resistance, weather resistance, and anti-aging properties is just what we need to solve the station's sole weakness. Unfortunately, Emperor Cheapskate negged the purchase, saying one $500 cable is enough. Too bad, because if anyone ever flew a bunch of X-wings through that port, we'd be in big trouble. But hey, what are the chances of that?
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I plugged this into my guitar amplifier and now I can turn it up all the way to "Eleven"! No Has-Been, One-Hit-Wonder, Aging Rock/Pop-Star should be without this cable if they value any sort of career beyond fast-food, retail sales or other service industry type jobs! Thanks Denon for helping to ensure my future life of fame, fortune, and overall comfort and luxury!
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I ARE CAN HAS THIS CABLES AND IT DOESNT DO THE THINGS IT SAYS IT CAN DO WITH THE OTHER THINGS INSTALLING IT MAKING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HAPPINESS AND GLOOM TOUCH IT AND ITS SHEEN CLOTH COVERINGNESS THAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE A DYNAMO INSIDE THE ROOM MAKING THE MONEY TO HAVE THIS CABLES MAKES YOU WANT TO HAVE IT MORE SO BUY TOO AND YOU WONT HAVE OFFENSE!
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From what I make of most of the reviews that I have read they are all jokes mocking Denon about selling a $500.00 Networking cable. Well let me tell you this, I have one of these and I let my friend, who is an electrical engineer, take the cable into his lab and perform various tests on its electrical transmitting characteristics and his results did conclude that this cable does transmit data more accurately than they average cable.
I can hear it now! "BUT IT IS DIGITUL , IT IS NOT GUNNA MAKE ANY DIFFRECNE!!!!!1" You are absolutely right, this cable will work just as well as any $5 cable that you can pick up from monoprice or newegg but is that what you really want? I mean in these crazy economic times do you not want to invite your neighbors over and rub their face in the fact that the only reason that you have a $500.00 networking cable is because you can afford it?
Excuse me while I go stroke my e-penor.
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I recently purchased a boom box from Target that I had planned to use around the house. This boom box was intended as an everyday appliance that would provide just that little boost of energy to help keep me motivated in my daily attempts to take over the world. I wanted to connect the boom box to my liquid-cooled solid-state quadraphonic home stereo system. With such a fine piece of solid-state technology, I could use nothing less than the $500 Denon Dedicated Link Cable. After all, any turntable that employs a Moon Rock needle deserves no less than true cabling perfection.
Unfortunately, a conspiracy of random events combined to thwart my sonic intentions. It is as a result of these events that I am forced to publish my experiences with said cable.
My experience goes a little something like this. I opened my Amazon.com cardboard box with a typical argon laser cutting tool, which you can find at most miliary surplus stores. Upon opening the box, I was amazed to note that beneath the sealing plastic, the cable was emitting its own bright light, slightly blue-shifted. I assumed, quite logically, that the bluish light was simply reflected electromagnetic energy from when I would attach the cable to my home stereo ten minutes hence. Due to the extreme speeds at which energy moves through the cable, it was no surprise that these effects would cause the cable housing to become quantum entangled with itself in space and time, thusly bringing the cable (interior and exterior) into its own self-generating time dilation field. Giggity! Must be good stuff.
Once I returned from locating and donning my 60's-era Haz-Mat suit (just in case) in the bomb shelter, I returned to the living room and began the connection process, as follows:
- Remove plastic seals. Check.
- Gingerly remove cable from form-fitting cardboard girdle. Check.
- Place cable on carpet in coiled mode. Check.
- Verify that cable emits a low-power anti-gravity field while in coiled mode, allowing it to float and rotate effortlessly approximately 3.2 millimeters from the floor. Check.
(Note: Gravity field results above shag carpet are undefined.)
- Use titanium personal mirror to locate connector plugs on back of stereo. Check.
- Place a nuclear flashlight (powered by particle decay of the Cesium-232 atom, naturally) near the mirror for proper illumination. Check. (Was that a fresh clump of my hair on the floor?)
- Bring one end of the cable within 5 centimeters of stereo connector. Wait for electromagnetic forces to auto-select the appropriate port and swoosh into place. Check. (Note: this worked much faster than the $800 iLink connector.)
- Bring secondary end of cable close to the boom box output port.
Alas, this is when the true quality of the cable came to light. As the cable end approached its target (the connector port on the back of my boombox), I noticed a bright light out the living room window. This was
especially interesting, as I have recently coated my windows with two inches of solid lead (after losing a lawsuit filed by my annoying neighbors last year...something about their microwave exploding every time I played a Smokey Robinson record). Anyway, once the cable touched the port and completed the circuit, the room was filled with the most intense white light I've seen in months. As I was losing consciousness, I felt the cable vibrating at an incredible speed, followed by rapidly rising heat. While falling backward onto the carpet, I noticed the cable radiating orange and fizzling away in my hand like flash paper.
I awoke to find the cable gone, except for its badly burned UPC warning sticker, which had drifted over to the corner of the room. The back of my boom box was also melted away in a perfect sphere. From the affected area, my forensic analysis, and the burning in my hand, I can only surmise that the unbelievable quality of the sonic transfer over this cable was so great that it attracted a massive solar flare into my living room. I would have expected that the radiation from that flare would have taken several minutes to reach my living room, but once I realized the high manufacturing quality of the cable, it seemed clear that time was rendered irrelevant in my living room.
Anyway, I would have expected a $500 cable to last much longer than it did, despite this strange conflagration of events. For my money, I'd prefer Dr. Evil's Massive Large Cable Thing, which retails for just under $650. When I used that cable last year, I remember that it lasted for 20-30 minutes before I was rendered unconscious (long story).
So for my money, I can't really recommend this cable for hard-core applications. It's way too sensitive to galactic radiation.
Sincerely,
Dr. Speedie von Kvick
P.S.: In addition to the Denon cable, the solar flare radiation also melted off most of my left hand and wrist, leaving me with little more than a stingy nub. As the cable warranty did not contain any language that referenced such an outcome, I was forced to type this review with my right hand, a left-handed cat, the middle piece of a broom handle and most but not all of a lukewarm cup of Ramen Noodle soup.
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I purchased this finely engineered piece of electronica back in December and installed it into my second theatre. Because some of the existing insallation was nearly two months old I wasn't expecting anything astounding. And frankly, while I did catch some increase in brilliance and resonance it wasn't until my mistrees played a George Michael Live Concert late January that I became a true believer. Most real men would flee running and screaming from such a thing, but I was strangely drawn. Much like my love of Cannoli, a certain feeling came over me that I cannot put into words. Magical, warm even. And I am no fan of furry men, mind you.
Flash to earlier this month, (March 11th, to be precise) I awoke with a start at 3:39am to find Chuck Norris stealing the now worn equipment from theatre 2. I suprised hm handily and though we grappled in a sweaty embrace for many a minute with the assistance of my loyal housemate Jack B. I manged to use this very same Denon AKDL1 cable to tie up the much-feared Mr. Norris.
We throw him a scrap of meat every morning and some soup stock in the evenings The cable has not budged a bit, though perhaps it has dug into his wrists in a rather sad manner.
Highly recommended! Get two, in case the first one is tied up.
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At a length of 1.5 m, it takes an electromagnetic wave (signal) moving the speed of light (in a vacuum) very close to 5.00346 nanoseconds to traverse this cable. I had to ask myself, why would someone design a quality cable that didn't manage this transmission in 5 nsec or less? Well, the answer finally came in a flash: it does! The cable is constantly moving rapidly towards everything in its reference space, hence it's blue-shifted (which is what gives it that distinct color and aura). The signal, as others have already pointed out in their reviews, arrives earlier than it normally would, and thanks to the negative time dilatation, results in increased throughput. As an added benefit, the cable practically connects itself to the sockets it's plugged into.
I gave it just four stars because if your two pieces of equipment are pretty close to each other, you can achieve faster throughput by just purchasing a shorter (e.g., 0.75-m) cable instead. Why the manufacturer apparently doesn't offer one (for, say $250) totally eludes me.
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Since my AV Receiver is literally 8000 miles from my other equipment, this cable was a godsend. It appears that the cable is only a few feet long, but when you connect one end to the receiver (make sure its the correct end!), it creates a wormhole that you can hand the other end through so your companion on the other side of the planet can plug it into the switchgear you have. I know they state than you can actually step only half way through the wormhole to plug it in yourself, but I was skeptical and was willing to only risk a hand, not half of my body.
MAKE SURE YOU BUY A AKDL1 COMPATIBLE SWITCH! When I tried this the first time, I just tried to go cheap and just plug it into a cheapo linksys on the other side, and I ended up poking some poor Japanese guy in the eye instead (NOWHERE NEAR MY SWITCH I MIGHT ADD!), and he said it caused a permanent injury. The saddest thing is that apparently this wasn't the first time this had happened to him! Sorry Mr. Fujimoto!
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I was part of the high level negotiation team which helped bring peace between Russia and Georgi last year. Few people know how close we really were to nuclear holocaust between the great powers.
Our team stumbled upon the Denon Link Cable almost by accident reading a magazine on the world's most important invention being the Denon Link Cable. We decided we would try something different and bring the Link Cable to the United Nations and other high level forums to avert the crisis.
Instantly tensions were reduced, people started talking and the Denon's unidirectional data flow enabled people to sit down face-to-face and talk through their issues in a high-fidelity context.
We are now utilising the Denon Link Cable to help resolve the current financial crisis. The other millions of people who have been saved by this godly creation will trust the good times aren't far away when holding a Denon Link Cable.
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