This connection isn't sound. If my calculations are correct, it should be sometime around 2007 for whomever is reading this. DO NOT USE THESE CABLES. Something... happens with them. Something came through, something from somewhere else. We were overrun in days, not many of us are left. WE LIVE UNDERGROUND! ONLY YOU CAN STOP IT NOW. SAVE US. DO NOT USE THESE CABLES.
I don't have much time. This connection isn't sound. If my calculations are correct, it should be--
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My boyfriend bought the Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable and installed it in the bedroom sound system to enhance the mood-setting properties of our Barry White mp3's.
Turns out not only did ultrasonic emissions from the cable purge my body of the artificial hormones from my birth control pills, it caused me to hyperovulate. Three months later, I gave birth to fully-developed octuplets.
Granted, the AKDL1 also caused me to sprout six more breasts so I can keep the entire litter fed, but it's still a *major* inconvenience. The Denon AKDL1 needs further FDA testing before it's released to the unsuspecting public.
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Since the dawn of man (or maybe 1978), the earth has been warming at an alarming (or maybe just normal given the current solar activity) rate. However, since this cable was introduced, the earth has actually cooled. Therefor this cable has single hand...double endedly solved man's greatest threat (or miscarriage of science).
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I have to admit, I was skeptical at first...all I need is this cable? I previously had nine separate cables to carry the signals which now are transported through this one cable. I didn't think they could do it. The reason I needed this is that one of the nine cables in my high-end system failed. It must have been carrying electrical current, because the sheath broke and released the smoke, which was carrying the signal. Once you let the smoke out, the cable is no good. So I started shopping around online, and found this upgrade cable for just $499. I bought two of these, just in case.
The one I have installed is working perfectly. The spare was a great idea, since I can display it in my Trophy Room. I have hanging around the neck of my stuffed "Sidehill Gouger", right next to the Jackelope.
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Wonder Woman here with my review of these Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cables.
Things have been a little tight over here at the Hall of Justice, so back in February we had to sell off my golden lasso to cover the heating oil bill. Fortunately we had a little extra moo-lah this month due to Batman's downsizing and getting a hybrid (the batmobile was getting like 8 mpg). With the savings I was able replace the golden lasso with a pair of these cables. Not only do they force people to tell the truth just like my old lasso, but with these cables they tell the truth in perfect pitch - MUCH BETTER.
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As excited as I was to open my new Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable, I was much more dissatisfied by Denon's customer service experience. Apparently the result of an improper connection and the cable's high data transfer speed, I mistakenly caused the collision of a pair of positrons (i.e. leptons) at several hundred GeV. While the resulting mini black hole theoretically proved the validity of superstring theory and may result in endless new perpetual energy sources, it also stained our Berber carpet. When I phoned Denon customer support, the representative I spoke with--whose English was horrible, by the way--was discourteous and unhelpful. Regardless of my data transfer or particle acceleration needs in the future, I will not be shopping with Denon again.
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Is it possible that these cables are the earthly embodiment of perfection? I though so.
Like an idiot I didn't follow the instructions that came with the cable. Instead, I "accidentally" ground them up in a blender along with a pile of Monster cables. What came out was a green, glowing, runny substance. I wasn't sure what I could do with it, so I threw it out of house and onto the garden. What happened, no one could have expected.
Apparently most of the ooze found its way onto a family of turtles. It began to physically change them. It has been two weeks now and I have four teenage turtles in my house constantly breaking things with their martial arts. I'm about out of pizza and would like Denon to explain how these seemingly flawless cables could have caused such a problem. I read all of the warnings and didn't find anything in them about not blending them up and pouring it on turtles. I would like a full refund, or at least, Denon to cover my pizza bill.
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Actually this product doesn't do Jack squat to improve the quality of my top of the line DVD surround sound, home theatre system with 82" flat screen HD TV... but my neighbor Ed doesn't have one. BOOYAH!
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